Thursday, January 27, 2011

Woe is Me

Woe is me...it isn't that I am in denial or making less of a serious situation,
This is me fighting,, AGAIN. Last week I find out that 1 of 3 markers has gone up a bit. SO that means that I will be going through some Radiation again and Chemo Therapy..the difference is that this time around I will be doing it all at home, just not the Radiation LOL.


I will also be taking a new Anti- Hormone drug at home too. So no more intravenous treatments this time. and that is a bonus. The last time all my treatments were done through the I.V. It is a great relief knowing that I won't have to bring my little girl back and forth to my treatments, so this time we both won't be uprooted from the comfort of our own home. ..our sanctuary. The one place that we both look forward to being when we leave the hospital, the store, or even the homes of our families and friends.

At first when I got the news, yes it was a shock and it seemed for that moment that my back pain that initially started from injuring it a few weeks before the x-mas holidays got so much worse..And it was worse. Much worse. The Cancer was aggravated because of the injury. The Cancer that I knew was in my bones already. The Cancer that spread almost 5 years ago from my breast, but was in control for all this time, NOW is aggravated! Ha..imagine my cancer is aggravated..that is almost laughable , HA HA HA..I am aggravated!

Aggravated because I know that I have been doing everything right, keeping my stress level down. eating as best and as I possibly could, sleeping and exercising. But because of an injury and I guess the stress that it caused, VOILA!

I met with my Radiation Oncologist and he sent me for a CT Scan to see exactly where I need the Radiation..you see I am in considerable amount of pain, which is normal with what I have, the great thing is that after the Radiation not immediately but in a little time the pain will be all gone.  And slowly but surely with the Chemo my markers will go back down.

This form of Chemo, chemo by mouth will be the first for me and I am confident that it will work..it has to work.

I am strong and a fighter and I will do whatever needs to be done, whatever it takes no matter what it is.

I have my little girl Chloe Megan who counts on me , her Mommy to fight this. To beat this.

TO WIN!

She is the best reason .

And I intend to do just that, FIGHT> CONQUER>WIN!

Our love will carry us through this. Always and Forever.

Together we will fight. Together we will conquer.Together we will WIN

Because Mommy loves you.

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