Today started off like most days. .I was awakened my precious daughter's giggles and tickles. Something she has developed a quite a liking too., tickling my neck or giving me sweet little kisses .I wake up in the middle of the night quite often these days which is quite common for me since I have restarted chemo again several weeks ago. Something about Chemo causes bouts of insomnia for me usually, but this time I sleep quite heavily and want to sleep as much as I can, as a matter of fact a couple of weeks ago I was falling asleep every where, I'd fall asleep while talking with friends on the phone or sitting across the table from one another, I'd fall asleep chatting with Mom at the computer or worse while eating at the table lol....The frequent wakening is because of the pain in my back I wake up each time I want to change position or just turn over. I did however find out why I have been so exhausted recently. At my regular 4 week check-up with my Oncologist he told me that I would not be getting Chemo that day because my white cell count was too low but he was giving me the Herceptin which is an anti-body but only half the usual dosage, and the following week if my levels were normal than the Chemo would resume.,This new information however explained why I have been so exhausted..Now I am feeling alot more energetic and the body pains that Chemo causes is alot better now. I am feeling more and more like myself.
Maybe this new found energy is due to it being Spring too, and like the trees blooming my spirit and zest for life is blooming too in a sense..Apart from the chemo treatments I am always keeping myself busy with Chloe. She is growing ever so quickly and every day there are new adventures just waiting to be discovered. She loves to do everything and anything that Mommy does. She is quite the little helper too. I cannot even begin to express to all of you of how she warms my very soul with the little things that she does for me to show me how she is becoming a big girl now. In the mornings if she wakes up before I do she loves to make her bed or clean up the toys off the floor in the living room and make everything nice and tidy, and then after the ritualistic little kisses and tickling mommy she would say, "Mommy come see what I did for you" or "Mommy come see what I made for you", then she would take me by the hand ,tell me to close my eyes then guide me slowly to her room then say, "Okay Mommy, open your eyes!"..And then I would as always be gleeful and ecstatic and give her the praise she is rightfully due. Her bed is perfectly made, her toys are all out away and her room beautifully decorated according to her tastes and liking. Her face is beaming with joy as she struts around her room giving me detailed reasons for why each of her little pet shop toys are placed where they are. Each one of them has their place and she loves to build things for them too. Castles, barns, ranch corals etc..everything and anything that a pet shop toy would need and then some.
She helps with the dishes, and she also takes care of making sure Belle's bowls are full of food and fresh water, and the litter is swept off the floor, which is a task that has to be taken care of every day of course because Belle loves to toss litter out of her litter box every time she does her business LOL.
She accompany 's me every time I have to go to treatments too, and has done so since the beginning. I think that out of all the times I have had to go to the hospital for treatment , I can count in one hand how many times that she was not with me.
I try my best to make sure that she has what she needs and then some to make sure that she doesn't get bored..I make home made jello playdough so we can make things. Plenty of paper and crayons sometimes even paints, Story books so that I can read her stories .And for the times that I don't feel too well she'd play on her Leapster or watch the t.v which is thanks to the hospital for being equipped with televisions in every treatment room or station. Whatever the case may be I try to make it an enjoyable experience for her.
I always bring good things for us to eat too and we pretend that we are out on a picnic lol.
My daughter is you could say my best little buddy. It is because of her I fight so hard and I believe am winning this battle with the Dragon. It is because of her and for her that I am here, and with God's blessing remain here to watch with joy and amazement every blessed day of how beautifully my daughter grows into an amazing young adult.