I'm in love with Crumb Boss T.V

I am addicted to Crumb Boss T.V on You Tube.

I swear I must spend at least  2 hrs of my day watching and re watching Gretchen Price who is the Crumb Boss and owner of the Woodland Bakery in Chatham N.J. Her and Steph who is the producer are hilarious together. I have laughed myself to tears listening and watching them together . They really add a whole new perspective to baking,
To those of you who knew me years ago, I used to have a home based catering business before the Cancer, and even tho I made everything you can imagine my passion is and has always been baking, 

I am doing amazing and I continue to beat Cancer's Ass and even tho I never stopped cooking and baking , I wasn't cooking and or baking any where near as much or creating new recipes like I used to. Ahh such is life,. But I did bake  a lot for friends and of course my precious little girl Chloe Megan who by the way is turning 7 on Sunday February 3rd . Many great and fond memories were created baking with her in the kitchen and watching her adorable little face light up when the cakes, cookies  we made came out of the oven, and she would yell out for all to hear, " I made that with my Mommy" .

One thing that hasn't changed for Chloe is licking the beaters and bowl LOL..hey even I still do that! It's the best !..
This birthday I will be baking her birthday cake. It is going to be  a theme cake fashioned after one of her all time favorite Disney movies, "The Princess and the Frog". For those of you in my age group if you remember the Princess when we were kids was white, but now the Princess whose name is Tiana, is African American and the story takes place in New Orleans. This is going to be a lot of fun to make for me because the last cake, or theme cake rather that I made was for my friends daughters birthday, and it was also a Princess Doll cake,.the doll was Ariel from the little Mermaid who is Also Chloe's favorite too and I thought for sure that she would want it for herself this year. I t was a beautiful; cake and I wish that I had taken pictures of the finished cake. I designed the mermaid dress on the doll using green and blue roll-ups! and WOW it was awesome !! I used blue food coloring on the white buttercream under her to make the waves..and jelly candy that I rolled flat and dipped in sugar and made cut outs of the starfish and other sea creatures. It was something to see and made a little girls birthday that much more special. So this year Chloe;s cake has to be out of this world!

I went out a few months ago and bought her a collection of Princess Dolls and one of them of course the the African American Princess Tiana, so I already have the doll.Chloe Megan's favorite flavor for the cake is chocolate. So I plan to make a 2-3 Tier cake and the top of the cake will be another cake but it is going to be the doll part with Princess Tiana standing on the top, her gown of course is another cake. 

The entire cake will be made using my idol and inspiration the Crumb Boss's recipes. So i'm using her recipes and my artistic flair motivated purely from my love for my little angel.
MY intention is to make a video of the process, and if I that can't happen I will definitely post a picture of the finished cake here in my blog, in YouTube in My Channel and of course in FaceBook on the Crumb Boss page for her all of her loyal followers and fans to see what she has inspired . 
She truly has been a positive inspiration to get me out of the cob webs and back in the kitchen doing what I love to do, creating yummy and beautiful pastries and cakes for my loved ones to enjoy!

Who knows maybe I will start a home business again!
I  ♥♥ Crumb Boss !!!!

Here is the Crumb Boss 's website where you will find all the delicious recipes you see her do in Crumb Boss t.v in You Tube

My Sleeping Beauty

 

    This is the view I had this morning when I awoke.. the sight of my little angel sleeping beside me warmed my heart and very soul. And I started to think about what she will be when she is an adult. What dreams will she fulfill , what does she want to be when she grows up, will she get married and have 1 child or many children? And if she does have a family will she choose to be a fulltime Mom or will she be one of those modern women of today and try to do it all?, career , husband and kids.

Whatever she decides I intend to be there to see it all.

I used to sit and get lost in thought about the prospect of not being here to even see her take her first steps, because I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer when she was still an infant, not even walking yet.

Now look at where we are today..she is not only walking . but running and playing , talking and singing, writing her name and the names of those she cares for the most. Having play dates, helping me bake cookies and cakes (especially her favorite)chocolate and especially fudgy brownies..

She even cleans her own room without me having to ask!

I could not have prayed for a better child.

She is the light of my life.

My reason for being

My Sleeping Beauty.

 

 This is my little Sleeping Beauty waking up, looking up at me from my tummy  

 

Mommy loves you baby!

So Far So Good

 

Well, today is the second day into my new method of getting Chemotherapy. On Friday the  government approved the cost of the new Chemo in a pill, named Xeloda. It is very very expensive. I am so happy that they did. From what I was told by my Pharmacist many people were not as fortunate as I am and were disapproved, I was also told that the government doesn’t pass approval that fast either..

When I picked it up yesterday I didn’t take it right away, instead Nadette , my Oncology Nurse suggested to start the regime after supper  and that it probably wouldn’t hurt to take the Metaclop eat least  a half hour before.

Metaclop is a drug that is given to primarily cancer patients receiving Chemo. It slows down  the digestive and intestinal system, preventing nausea and vomiting.

I cannot begin to express how nervous I was either. . I took the Metaclop and waited a half an hour than I ate something too to make sure that I had something buffering any hostile effects of the Xeloda.

For now I will go about my day as usual and not dwell upon any possible nasty side effects such as, Mouth Sores, Itchy and painful palms and or soles of the feet, abdominal pain and of course nausea and vomiting. These are the most common side effects reported to date. There are a few others but hey, if I keep on dwelling on the “possible” side effects I’ll end up making myself ill, LOL.

As for now I am happy and relieved to report, So far so good!!

My new Chemo in a Pill.

 

Well this morning I went to the hospital and picked up Xeloda.  Xeloda is a new form of Chemo, it comes in pill form,.

My body starting getting used to the other Chemo I was on, called Navalbine, and it was administered intravenously.  Other than just feeling a little tired , I never ever had any problems or nasty side effects.

I was told that I might experience some abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, mouth sores and flushing and burning sensation of the hands and  or extremities. UGH ! I don’t want to feel sick or nauseous, or have any of that!.But I will take them like a good and responsible little Cancer Patient hehe.

I fought this long and have been successful at keeping the Cancer in check and I will continue to fight and kick this Cancer’s Ass! LOL.

I have too much to live for to give up now, and I have a lot of people counting on me to not give up.

But the most important person to keep fighting for is of course my precious daughter Chloe Megan. She has been my inspiration and my reason for being,

The smile on her face that I am blessed to see every day is worth fighting anything and anyone to keep on seeing,

I will  do my best to keep everyone posted as to how I am doing and feeling,

I am starting after supper tonight. I was given instruction to take 3 pills twice daily for 2 weeks and then on the 3rd week I don’t take any, it’s my week off, and I see my Oncologist once in a month.  So now I won’t have to go back and forth to the hospital anymore. Being able to have Chemo in the comfort of my home is definitely a bonus, because I honestly was getting fed up of traveling back and forth, back and forth.

Today has been dark and gloomy with scattered showers, but that is ok. Chloe Megan is my sunshine in a small package LOL..and we are doing all kinds of fun stuff,,,reading ,drawing, painting and coloring pictures etc..We have all kinds of fun arts & craft projects to keep us entertained and happy.

As long as we are together we always have a lot of fun!

Well everyone in Blog land, there will be lots more to come . Going to soak in a hot tub infused with Lavender essential oils and candlelight..Mmmmm I am so looking forward to this!..this will do wonders for my mind and my body right now…

Here we are me and mini me LOL

Ooh my aching back

Wonderful Mother

God made a wonderful mother, A mother who never grows old; He made her smile of the sunshine, And He moulded her heart of pure gold; In her eyes He placed bright shining stars, In her cheeks fair roses you see; God made a wonderful mother, And He gave that dear mother to me

The Greatest News Ever!

My News didn't actually happen today, but rather it happened a few weeks ago.
I went to my routine  Oncologist  Appointment for a check up and also where he prescribes my Chemo and Antibodies dosage for the next cycle. After they do the routine marker checks in my blood, that is when he is able to determine how and if the treatments are in fact doing their job or not..


Now let me back track here for a moment., about 3 weeks prior to this visit I underwent a routine bone scan , now when I say "routine" bone scan, that would mean for any one else other than myself,  every 3  to 6 months max. LOL. I laugh because I haven't been what you would call a "normal cancer patient", mainly because I have missed  a half a dozen or so bone scan appointments over the last 2 years!..
Never intentionally mind you, but for very valid reasons each and every time !, I just honest to goodness , had every intention of making and keeping the appointments but it never happened as it were , something always came up preventing me from being able to go.


My Oncologist Dr.Cristiano Ferrario would get so upset with me too whenever I'd missed the bone scan appointments let me tell you!  But  he was understanding and would never stay mad at me for very long. Fortunately for me, lol.


Any way going on with my good news lol,..Cristiano came in the room and says, " Hey Bon Giorno how are you and little Chloe? Chloe was of course sitting right there with me as usual, and I said , "Great Doc and you"? he says, "Very Good very good" and touches Chloe on the cheek making her blush


He then turns around and signs in to his computer to check my Blood Results, markers etc. and also the Bone Scan results.
After a  few moments he turns to me and says, " I have some good news and I have some bad news".   To which I say, "Oh"? Ok..Ummm tell me the bad news 1st, and this I tell you I had to really think about, but I'm tough I can handle it right? Ha , or so I thought because nothing could prepare me for what was going to come out of his mouth.


He then says,  "Well before I go on, as you know I have been here in Canada for several years now  and I have been practicing under Fellowship with Dr. Panasci," and Canada has been very lenient in that they have been continuously extending my Visa allowing me to be here this long".The hospital has offered me a permanent position here to which I have accepted". Now I am really happy at this point because not only have I been his 1st patient but he has been my 1st and only Oncologist,,I owe him my life. We are not just Doctor and Patient but over the years we have become friends..He knows me inside and out, and has been with me since the very beginning.  And I have been very concerned to say the least about him deciding that he did not want to continue on as Oncologist for the Jewish General and or practice here in Canada period!


And now he just eased all my worries and is telling me that he has been offered a permanent position and has accepted it.


"That's great Cristiano" "Oh my God I am so happy for you and for me as well" I said,
"So what's the bad news then"? He leans over, runs his hand through his hair and says with he head kinda bent down ,but looking right into my eyes now and in a lower tone says to me" Despite all the valid reasons for Immigration to grant  me permanent residence and allow me to become a citizen of Canada and this wonderful permanent position that has been put on the table by the hospital, they refused". . At this point I could feel my heart come to my throat, and my eyes start to spasm and burn.  I could not believe what I was hearing, all the reasons for why he should stay was playing in my mind like the last images of ones life flashing in front of the eyes right before you know your life is coming to an end.  "BUT" he adds,  "They will grant me permanency if I leave Canada and return to Italy for 6 months and return as a new applicant" "The hospital has tried everything apart from offering me to take this to the News and contact their lawyers to fight this, but I said no I don't want to risk pissing Immigration off and ruining any of my chances, they assured me acceptance if I comply and leave for 6 months, they will grant me citizenship and a new applicant", "SO I promise you I will be back and we will watch each other grow old, together".


Inspite of all the reasons I hate the thought of him leaving me after everything he has seem me through, I am, relieved that this is temporary and he will be back. But I HATE IT!! I am mortified of the thought that I will have no choice but to trust another Oncologist with my life,,After we discussed it a little further and him doing and saying everything just right so as to make sure that believed that he was returning, we agreed that it made the most sense that I be followed with the Oncolgist who he has been under Fellowship with, Dr.Lawrence Panasci.


I met Dr.Panasci with Dr . Ferrario the very 1st time I went to the Jewish after my diagnosis and Mastectomy, and he is very familiar with my case and has been following the case all these years..


I met him also once when I was in the ER and he was very nice and had a great bed side manner that I can remember.


Now that the bad news is behind me,,here is the Good News.


"Ok""give me the good news now" I say. "OH yes the good news" lol You have not had a bone scan in 2 years! and in 2 years there is no new metastasis at all, but better yet where we initially found the metastasis is completely gone! And your markers have and are dropping steadily".


"You're not kidding, are you?" I belt out. "No metastasis in all this time?  and where there were metastasis they have all disappeared!?" and my markers are dropping!?" I sing out this time.


"Yes you heard right" he answered back. "Do you realize how amazing this news is?" You are a true Miracle and I am so happy" .


"You are not the only one, and I could not have done this without you, you have to know that" "Thank you so much . from the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you"then I add, "You see why you leaving is insane, Quebec is crying because it needs more good Doctors and because the ones that they had are leaving to go States side, and here you are , a wonderful Doctor who actually truly cares about his patients, and they are making you leave?!?!" "this is insanity at it's best"! I bellowed out.


He could not understand any of it either but he'll be back.
And I will continue on Kicking Cancers Ass!!


I will be seeing him 1 last time before he leaves for 6 months and after that I will be followed by Dr.Lawrence Panasci.


More to come


Have a Good One!